When you look to others to make you happy, you will inevitably be disappointed. Ultimately, happiness is an inside job; or, a feeling that can only come from deep within a person. Everyone has the desire to be happy, and we are constantly pursuing ways to achieve it. Some of us, however, are going about it the wrong way.
Throughout life, we’ve been conditioned to think that happiness comes from events, outcomes or is created by other people. All of the “things” which give us pleasure are connected to things outside of ourselves, giving us the false notion of who we think we are rather than who we truly are.
Chasing happiness only leads to disappointment.
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In order to experience true fulfillment, we need to know how to cultivate more happiness into our daily lives. Here’s how:
Remain present
Stop looking to the future for happiness. “When I get that promotion I’ll be happier.” – or – “As soon as I find love I’ll be happier.” This mindset only takes away from the present, which is where you will find everyday happiness if you look around. Rather than long for something you think you need to be happy, practice gratitude for the extraordinary things that already exist in your life. Get rid of the “what if” and condition yourself to focus on the “what is.
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Look within
Some of us think happiness is dependent on things outside of ourselves. Others think of happiness as a rarity or something that’s not possible. If you look within yourself, however, you can find true happiness.
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In this Landmark education piece, Landmark Forum leader Jerry Baden writes: “Being happy can’t have some “thing” in mind because it is not some “thing” in the foreground; it’s a background stand that creates the possibility of what’s in the foreground. “I am happy,” is a matter of saying—a sacred saying, a saying that has no ground underneath it, but becomes the ground. No rationale, no evidence. Being happy exists only as a possibility—it’s an inside job. If we can say, “I am happy,” and it’s true because we said so, that’s power, instantaneous, and timeless. And that’s the ultimate act of creativity.”
Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude is one of the most important things we can do to achieve true happiness. It is through the process of gratitude that we experience the purest form of joy. In doing so, we are also able to create a mindset that focuses on the positive.
Positivity and self-love
Speaking of positivity, keeping an optimistic outlook goes a long way to creating inner happiness.
According to psychologist Shawn Achor, when you raise the positivity levels in your brain, you actually do better work and, generally, are happier. The best way to honor yourself is through practicing self-love and listening to what you need.
When you choose to stop looking to objects or other people for your happiness, you can truly start to live a life full of positivity and fulfillment, and set yourself up for success in all aspects of your life, too.
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